just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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