dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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