Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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