Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
