apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
