Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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