i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize