And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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