I'd wear matching sweaters with you
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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