i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
