She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
