I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize