ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
