Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize
