I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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