I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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