Christians are straight up FREAKS
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
