Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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