Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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