Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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(520): View more from Arizona

just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store

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(937): View more from Ohio

someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.

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(954): View more from Florida

Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.

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(618): View more from Illinois

So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?

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(714): View more from California

So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?

(1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

4 pairs might be a bit much

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