this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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