Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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