just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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