bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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