Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
