I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
