When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
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