He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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