Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
