Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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