my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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