Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
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Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
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Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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