Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
