I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We are all done wearing pants today
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
