I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
