everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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