You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
