he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They took my balls.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize