Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
