You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
