dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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