I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
