theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
