wakey wakey hands off snakey
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
How's work?
Spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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