I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
babies were throwing up all over the place
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
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