So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
where does the pee come out of this thing
she peed on how many people?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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