Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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