ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
