I don't think brook has ever known best
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
