Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
