I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize