people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Randomize
