absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
