god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
