I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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