if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Alive.
So much puke
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
