Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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