we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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