I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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