There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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