So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she smelled like a LAN party
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
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No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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