I just pynch a tree in the face
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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