So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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