When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Let's paint friendship bongs
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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